Messed up world

Hello everyone,

I have decided to properly dedicate myself to quitting sugar, It's something I have been addicted to for years and always reach for that extra piece of fruit to keep me going, but not anymore.

I am crazy when it comes to dried fruit, fruit, sweeteners, sugary alcohol and fruit juices, it not right, it's not healthy and it definitely causes me to overeat!

I discovered this book through Instagram and it seems to be very popular and the results look amazing.

I tried last week to try and quit but it was very difficult in the situation I was in and I wasn't able to prepare myself fully for the journey that was about to happen.

Personally I bought the book through amazon and will be following that at my own pace, however the author of the book Sarah Wilson also has a website which allows you to join her on an 8 week journey to no sugar! Sounds fabulous but unfortunately I don't have that kind of money right now.


And so, tomorrow I am going to start weaning myself off sugar, it is going to be hard, I will physically shake and bang my head against a brick wall coming down from this sugar high but I know in the future this will benefit me far more.

I am excited to try some new recipes and get cooking!

All I can say is, fingers crossed and I will post an update tomorrow on what I've bought and some of the recipes I will be trying.

Keep watching my progress to see if this is the right thing for you as well!

Ciao for now

I don't like to to talk about this subject as it's a sensitive one to talk about but all my life I have suffered from anxiety and depression and it's been a roller-coaster ride for me.

I have taken medication for my condition but I am one of those people who want to solve problems the natural way, I started exercising, healthy eating and learned to love life. So for me medication is a last resort, yes it helps to an extent but it's not for everyone.

 Last year (2014) was a real high for me, I had my own place, I was eating healthy/working out, I was in a relationship, I was living in an amazing area near university, I had a job and I more importantly I had my independence, everything was going great...
But as usual I went and fucked things up.
I quit my job, developed an eating disorder, working out started to take over my life, my mind went to pot along with my relationship because I couldn't cope with myself. Something had to change but it wasn't what I thought...

So this meant I had to move back home with my mother and sister and so my independence has gradually disappeared, I have to commute to University, I am unemployed and my health/fitness has suffered immensely causing me to gain weight and lose my love for fitness. Along with this of course my financial situation has become a worry with the ever increasing debt and absence of income.

This time in my life is so far my lowest point but I am determined to get out of it and move on, not a great start to 2015 but I have been dwelling in the past for too long when I need to be heading towards the future and realising the possibilities are endless and we are only at the very start of a new year!

These things aren't going to happen over night, and changing your mind set from pessimistic to optimistic is a challenging thing to do.

For anyone else suffering from Depression or Anxiety you know that forcing yourself to do these things is a challenge, recently even getting out of bed and getting to university has been a struggle for me, having a lack of friends and family around me doesn't help and being around people with the same condition has really got to me and has led on a downward spiral.
You may think this is a moan/cry for help, but it's not, I want people to understand how these conditions effect day to day life.

I have not been going out, which in turn has made me bored which has led to over eating and weight gain and then I don't want to leave the house because I am anxious about what people will think of this new change. Silly right?
But this has been happening since my move in October and my moods have been erratic and my health/fitness inconsistent. All of these things have led to a worsened case of depression and in turn led to me not being able to sustain relationships with anyone, even myself.

First thing is first: Sort out my mind.
Then everything will fall into place.

Here are some things I need to do/ going to do to sort myself out:

• Try to concentrate on the here and now not what's going to happen at the end of the week or the end of the month.
• Get my University work in check
• Get my healthy eating back on track- I'm currently trying for the second time to become a Vegan, I got myself a cook book and have bought lots of lovely produce.
• Get my fitness back on track- This will take a while but I will start slowly and wean myself into it with Running/Cycling/Swimming/Yoga and Pilates.
• Think about myself more.
• Keep those who are good/positive close to me and get rid of the negative/angry people.
• Keep my money in check
• Get a job
• And eventually get a place to live back near my University.

I'm hoping all these things together will set me on a path to a happier life and in turn I will be able to do all the things I want to do and more.

Here is a little advice for people suffering with the same conditions as me;

1. I find making a list of things I need to do for the day/week a great place to start.
2. Night time is very important, always prepare for the next day then the worries will be halved for the morning.
3. Drink lots of water
4. Exercise is a natural anti-depressant, I find the best way to exercise is outdoors where you can be surrounded by nature. But try not to worry about finding time to do it.
5. Be with people! This is a big must, force yourself out- yes we all need alone time but getting out there and talking with people is a way to get worries off your chest and hopefully put a smile on your face.
6. Don't worry about being selfish, everybody needs it, there is a difference between selfish and considerate, just be considerate.

There is loads more I could write on the subject including depression as a hereditary condition and pushing people away on purpose but I can always come back to it at a later date.

This is just a snippet of what is going on in my life right now and how 'Messed up' it really is.

I just hope everything will fall into place and I can be myself again, because at the moment I feel like a zombie.

I would love to hear some of your experiences and I would LOVE if anybody has any advice for me.

Thanks for reading, have a great day and make each moment count!

Namaste

Well after my last post I decided this detox wasn't for me.

Morning!

If you follow me on twitter you will know that the most amazing thing happened last night!

Basically yesterday was one of the worst days so far, I was lethargic I could barely move and all I wanted was some soup or a piece of fruit. The main problem with the whole thing is I still hate the taste of the drink, I don't like maple syrup and well that's the main ingredient...

So between a couple of sips of the drink and water that's all I've had for the last 2 days, so as you can imagine my energy levels have hit rock bottom. However, last night at around 7pm my energy levels started to soar, I was able to do a bit of Pilates before bed and even stay up a little bit later to sort things out! Don't get me wrong my mental energy has been there but my body doesn't seem to want to respond.

The worst thing about this detox for me is not being able to do anything at all, and constantly thinking to myself 'Why am I doing this?', starvation is not the answer to weight loss because as soon as you eat again the weight will slowly but surely come back again, not that weight loss was my ultimate goal anyway, but so far all I've experienced is headaches/being tired/spurts of energy/a rumbly tummy and red eyes. And in all honestly I miss exercise!

Today if my energy levels dwindle too much I think I will add in a freshly pressed juice, for me this is very beneficial and it's still liquid!
I don't want to struggle eating solid food again so the longer I detox the longer that will happen.

Last night during my sleep I woke up with the worst sore throat ever. Eugh, it was atrocious. I just drank lots of water and eventually it disappeared, my tongue is a funny colour like the website said it would be (a sort of white/grey) so that's weird. Another side effect is shaking and a constant pulsating through my body mainly my bowls and my stomach.

Well in conclusion, I don't think this detox was for me but I will do my best to stick it out for at least today...

Apparently for the full blown effects you need to continue the detox for at least 7 days but I personally can't stand the solution and I feel that something like 'the cabbage soup diet' or a 'Juice cleanse' would have many more health benefits as both include either fresh fruit or vegetables.

I wish anyone who takes part in this good luck and I hope you stick to it, but for me I need that fruit and veg to survive as that's all I eat!!

Also, during this detox I have decided to become a full blown vegetarian again, I don't think Veganism is for me as I enjoy dairy/eggs/Quorn too much and I don't believe animals are harmed during the processes that take place.

Again, I will update you for the last time tomorrow and tell you how things went down on Day 3.

Have a great day!


Namaste,

When life gives you lemons...

Well I managed to survive the first day and I actually didn't feel as bad as I thought I would..
I still have energy, very little though, and I miss the gym already.. but this is needed.
I did some yoga yesterday and today so trying to keep my activity levels up a bit, I might go for a walk later just to get some fresh air and pump up that metabolism.

I find it easier to drink the solution hot and it tastes a lot nicer, and as it's getting colder now it seems a good idea,

I have a headache but for my that isn't a rarity so I'm used to it, my eyes are quite heavy and I am irritable, so I wouldn't come near me today!

Because it's my first time on the detox (depending on how it goes) I am only going to continue it for 3-5 days, again depending on my energy levels etc.

It's going okay so far, I will let you know what nasty stuff starts to appear towards the end of the day or tomorrow morning. I am finding it hard to drink as much solution as I'm not accustomed to the taste but I will force it down me today.

Let me know your experiences, what happened on your second day?

Have a good day!

We all over indulge now and again...

Some of us more than others, and that's been me lately...oops.

Hello!

Yesterday I took part in Sure's Run to the beat, a 10K run taking place around Wembley Park!