Now the real battle begins; knowing what to do after university....

I have had an extensive number of retail jobs, but none of them have appealed to me as a career path I want to go down. And so, the decision lies with me, what is it that I want to do? 

During this journey of trying to hand in essays on time, revising for exams and stressing about every little thing possible it has made me realise one thing, I really enjoy routine and let's face it, being a student doesn't provide stability. 

I have lost the parts of my life that provided me with routine:

• My gym routine was lost and now I find motivation hard to find
• My healthy eating and love for cooking has been lost
• I have lost all self-confidence because of these two factors
• My sleeping pattern is all over the place due to all-nighters and deadlines 
• My social life is all over the spot and when I do socialise I feel guilty because I need to be doing work
• I have had to take a break from work because of all this stress 
• My body hates me and so every chance it gets it reacts to the smallest amount of stress

In order to try and get some routine back into my life a number of things are going to have to take place and the horrible daunting truth is, it isn't going to happen overnight (however much I would like it too!) 

I believe there are a number of things that have hindered me and I caution anyone in their third year to avoid these things: 

Don't adhere to peer pressure- I know it's hard but don't go out for that drink because the next day you will waste it, you won't want to work and you will feel like crap. 

Yes, you do need a break but do something else, go for a walk, cook a nice meal, and try your best to eat nice, healthy meals. 

Secondly, be prepared- unfortunately, this doesn't take away the stress you will feel when those deadlines start to draw closer but it will help take away a little bit of the stress. 

Another important factor is not to lock yourself away, this is exactly what I did and this meant that when I did go out or get the opportunity to drink I went mad, I ate and drank too much and inevitably felt like crap the next day. 

I moved out of my mothers and currently live alone in a studio flat, it has its benefits but most of them are outweighed by it's pitfalls, the harsh reality is that I am very lonely, I have to deal with everything myself and I have nightmares about people breaking in...also I have no money to spare anymore and so I am restricted to this room most days. 

Finally, don't panic! It's easier said than done, I know, but just try and take each day as it comes and focus on one thing at a time, which is very hard to do as life isn't made up of just the ONE thing. 

And so, I am down to my last essay and my exam is taking place tomorrow, and then after the 7th of May I will be 'free' from university, left to struggle with whatever life has to offer. 

I want a new purpose in my life, a new career and more importantly to rekindle my love for health and fitness.

I miss feeling and looking fantastic- people will tell you that you look no  different or that it's not other people's opinions that matter, which is true, and that is not what bothers me, what bothers me is how I am feeling. 

I am thinking about setting myself a new goal, but I constantly doubt myself, I want to stay positive and feel like I can achieve anything I want too. 

Some of the most important things I need to put into place are:

1. Complete my exam tomorrow
2. Complete the final essay I have to submit
3. Get my healthy eating back in place which includes cutting out alcohol
4. Ignore negative people
5. Regain my love for fitness and get back into the gym on a regular basis
6. Buy a road bike
7. Choose a career path
8. Look for a new place to live 
9. Get back to work
10. Be happy with who I am and the progress I am constantly making, sometimes you just need that one person to tell you that you are doing the best you can. 

Here is to an end of an era and new beginnings! 

Ciao for now.